I promised Addison we could try composting with earthworms this year, so I have been doing some research into how to build a proper “vermicomposter.” It doesn’t look like it will be too difficult. However, Addison was telling me last night about some of his ideas for the “erfwormsth.” He seems to think that it’s going to be like an ant farm with a tank, plastic houses and people. He was telling me about how we can make them a village with houses, trees, people, etc. Once again, I got the look that said, Silly woman, how can you be so large and yet so excessively stupid? Don’t you know that worms love plastic houses?

I think the biggest challenge is not going to be building a worm bin that works. No, the challenge will be convincing him that worms, much like his dog, would rather roll around in their own filth, eating poop and garbage, than ride little tractors on a pristine plastic homestead. I can just imagine the arguments we will have about putting them in a box and throwing garbage on them. Then I’m sure there will be the arguments about whether or not we should play with the worms because they are his new best friends. I’m flashing back to last year when he found the poor slug next to his sandbox.

“Look at him, mommy, he yikes me!! He’s my best fwend.”

Addison held up his hand for inspection. The slug was starting to look a little dry and squished out of shape. It wasn’t so much that he liked Addison, but rather he was disoriented and holding on for dear life. Addison carried the slug through the yard, into the sandbox, onto the swing set, and through the flowerbeds, all the time yacking about how cool the slug was and what wonderful things they would be able to do together. Then we had an argument about whether or not the slug should come in for lunch…. (Like the little b@stard hadn’t already been dining on my dahlias all night, now I’m supposed to fix him a sandwich?!) I sighed, disgusted at myself for thinking that maybe he would enjoy some nice table salt for lunch. I wondered where we lose the belief that all life, no matter how vile, disgusting and annoying – is actually precious and fascinating? I finally convinced him that the slug would rather stay outside and dine on my flowers. I’m sure it was the truth. The problem was, Addison wouldn’t listen to me about putting the slug back on the flowers. Instead, he decided, Mr. Slug would rather sit on the stepping-stone, next to a little metal dragonfly.

After lunch, Addison insisted and going out to look for the slug, but all we could find was a faintly slug-shaped puddle of slime and some ants…. Go figure. “One less slug to eat the dahlias,” I thought, but I felt bad for Addison at the same time. I didn’t want to tell him that instead of having lunch, the slug became lunch. I just hope this year’s earthworms fare better than the slug. If not, I guess we can always stick Lucky in the vermicomposter.