Calf-sh*t Colored Towels and John Bolton

What do these things have in common, you may ask, besides the fact that they are unappealing to me personally? They are both a poor fit for the places people are proposing to put them. Monday night, my husband came home and was very pleased with himself, having purchased new towels for our bathroom. They were lovely earth-toned shades of green and brown. Colors my aunt would lovingly describe as “calf-sh*t.” I have nothing against drab earth-tones per se, but our bathroom is done in shades of lavender. You get the idea. I guess I should just be glad he didn’t come home with a cat-vomit colored toilet-seat cover to complete the look.

As for John Bolton at the UN, he’s either the cat-vomit colored toilet-seat in the lavender bathroom, or the towels that are going to look like a calf took a big dump on the white bathroom floor, (once my husband inevitably leaves the towels piled there). You decide. Why do I say this? Well, let’s examine the definition of ambassador from Webster.com:

1 : an official envoy; especially : a diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or sovereign as the resident representative of his own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignment
2: an authorized representative or messenger b : an unofficial representative
Hmmm. Seems to me he is supposed to be a diplomat of sorts. What then, is the definition of diplomacy?

1 : the art and practice of conducting negotiations between nations
2 : skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility

Now, considering the fact that he’s been quoted as saying the following about the UN, I’d say he’s already failing miserably at #2.

"Many Republicans in Congress - and perhaps a majority - not only do not care about losing the General Assembly vote but actually see it as a "make my day" outcome. Indeed, once the vote is lost, and the adverse consequences predicted by the U.N.'s supporters begin to occur, this will simply provide further evidence to many why nothing more should be paid to the U.N. system. "
John Bolton

"There's no such thing as the United Nations. If the U.N. secretary building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference."
John Bolton

The main argument for Bolton is that we need a strong person to help reform the UN, but there’s a big difference between being tough and being a bully or a loose cannon. Is this the image that the US wants to present to the rest of the world? It’s certainly not the way I want to be seen. Someone should do with this man what I intend to do with the ugly-but-functional-towels. Put him them someplace where no one has to look at them on a daily basis. The following quote articulates my feelings on diplomacy perfectly.

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Caskie Stinnett